Worry, Choices Made, Worry

Drawing

One of the things about Life Chapter 2.5 is that when you make the choice to live Life Chapter 2.5 outside your home country, you also make the choice to leave those you love behind.  I really love life now but some days worry sinks in; Mom Worry.

Anyone who is a mom or who will ever be a mom knows what Mom Worry is.  Mom Worry starts from the time you find out you’re pregnant. You take Mom Worry with you to the grave.  At least that’s been my observation of my own mother’s Mom Worry.  There is a time when Mom Worry is justified.  Major Mom Worry includes things that may cause physical or mental harm; we automatically want to keep our children safe.  I’m not really sure if there is really any minor Mom Worry when our children are not within touching distance.

As I set the timer on the stove to remind myself this morning to stir the milk as it cools for yogurt, I thought that five minutes, ten minutes, it goes so fast.  Then I realized that thirty-one plus years later after the birth of our first child, life goes by at lightning speed.  Some days I reflect back on what I refer to as my “hands on mothering days” and I wonder how we all got to the end intact.  But then I feel joy because we did.

The other night a dear friend asked something that we get asked quite often.  “How do your children feel about you living here?  Do you hear from them often?”  My reply was that as a parent I only every wanted them to grow to productive, independent adults.   Upon reflection, I have had that wish granted and then some and I am happy.  To be honest, they’d probably prefer that we were closer to home.  The whole family probably would.  Would that make us happier though?  Probably not, life is pretty good here.

I receive a Span¡shD!ct.com Word of the Day every morning in my email to add to my vocabulary. I found it ironic this morning when I saw my word today.  It was esforzar. Esforzar – ehs-fohr-sahr’ (verb) to encourage, to inspire; to make an effort, to exert oneself (pronominal).  I can only hope that I encouraged our children to figure it out on their own.  An article I read recently about parenting adult children had the quote; “You can only be as happy as your least happy child” as its first line.  And the last paragraph advises parents that the biggest gift we can give as parents to our grown children is to accept them for who they are.  And that’s all I need to put the worry aside for today and be happy in the sunshine of the campo.

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About indacampo

You'll find me at https://indacampo.wordpress.com/ blogging about Panama...and other things.
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4 Responses to Worry, Choices Made, Worry

  1. I can relate to those Mom worries but realize that the older the kids are, the easier it is for me to extricate myself. I no longer “volunteer” advice but wait until they come and ask specifically. Becoming the parent of an Adult child is really quite a transition and requires a lot of work on our part – such as, letting go, letting go, letting go…:-)

    • indacampo says:

      Yes, my irrational worry of yesterday was unfounded helping me to go forward today. Our kids are smarter than what I give them credit for and usually many steps ahead of me. 🙂 They are all great people and we’re very lucky.

  2. I certainly understand this! It’s was difficult for me to be so far away when my daughter had her baby. Generally though, it’s been OK in large part because I wasn’t used to living close to my daughters when I was in Florida either. We make frequent use of technology to keep in touch. I can’t imagine how it was for families years ago when you had to wait for a letter to go across an ocean, or maybe never hear from your family.

    • indacampo says:

      I’m thankful that they are independent people and not just because they are my children. 🙂

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