I had a lovely long conversation with mi amiga in Canada via SKYPE last night. This is my same Bestie that was ill recently but has recovered; she of the now famous Stanley His Catliness that she recently sent over the Rainbow Bridge.
It was nice to hear from her and to give her a shoulder to lean on even if it is from a distance. She had emailed me recently to tell me that her father in law had died and last night she called me to tell me that the family was expecting her mother in law to pass sometime in the next day. Late last night after we spoke she sent me an email to tell me that her mother in law had indeed passed away. So far 2013 has been a pretty crappy year for her and her spouse.
While I was talking to her I tried not to use the old platitude that “God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle”. The words seemed cold comfort and kind of empty to me as someone who wasn’t experiencing all the trials and tests that seem have been dealt out the last while. We did talk about how much she was going to miss her mother in law. Mi amiga’s mother passed away when her own children were quite young and it’s taken her several years to get over the grief of losing her mother at a time in her life when she needed her advice more than ever. When she started dating N and she told him that both of her parents had passed on he told her he would share his with her. And he did. His mom became like her mom to her. His parents welcomed her into the family and his mother has been her surrogate mom for the seven years filling a little of the void left by her own mother’s passing. And for N and his siblings to lose both his parents within a space of two weeks, I can not comprehend and words cannot express.
N’s parents were married for seventy years. His Dad, Phil was 97 when he passed on and his mother, Alda was 90. They married in 1942, three years after they met. A quote by Phil in the local newspaper for a Valentines Day article states; “She fell into my heart and stayed there, it wasn’t hard to stay married so long. I wouldn’t do anything differently.”
As for any couple of their generation their marriage was hard work and hard times. They married at a time when getting married meant a partnership and being married forever. Alda was quoted as saying her biggest accomplishment was “raising her nine children and teaching them everything she could to make sure they were able to find love and get through life on their own.”
I’ve had the privilege of meeting and spending time with N’s parents. They were both lovely, warm-hearted people. Still up for a game of cards and a laugh and they loved spending time with their family. Mom had been in ill health but started failing the day they buried Dad. They loved each other well for over 70 years, they worked hard, farmed, raised a family and buried children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren before them. Even in ill-health they were never far from each other. And now, they are together again. Two branches on one tree. We should all be so blessed.